Mega Post, maybe...

So, I've been told by some, or, okay... actually, just one person. That I must update my blog, with something, anything... just as long as I have an entry. Oh, I have plenty of stuff to put up on here now. But, it's so much, that it doesn't really belong all in one post, and, of course, as each day goes by, more and more accumulates. So now, I'm to the point, where I almost have to make a mega post, to catch up to the current. Then, i'll be good to go, and I won't feel, like i'm some how "behind" is posting stuff to here. Though, it is a very intersting concept, the whole, web long aka Blog phenomenon. I mean, in the past, people kept diaries, they kept the letters they wrote, books of works, journals. They were all kept in a physical medium, a blank book, on a napkin, all kept in a box, or hidden away. But, only hidden for so long, I remember reading through the journals of great authors, great thinkers, through the personal diraries of great romantic's and lovers. There is a certain sense of awe, and excitement reading something old like that, being able to almost have a personal connection with someone that you have never meet, and lived in a different time period that you. It makes you wonder. What is this whole blog non-sense. It's not enough that we lived in a 24x7 connected world, pager, cell phones, email, SMS, MMS, all those text type pages, that, after all that... we then willing put what little privacy, we have left, our personal thoughts, out on "the web" for all to view. In a certain sense, it might not be any different, with sooo many people, and such an information overload, who is going to take the time to read so and so's personal life story. There is a huge amninity factor when it comes to large publics. People tend to feel safe, putting very personal things on these types of sites, i believe, because, they feel it's so public, no one will take notice. Which, I guess to a certain extent is true. For example, I know fairly well who bothers to read the blog, here, which i keep... but, there are some people.. who i really wish to read it... who don't bother, actually... not even sure they know I have one. But... that is a story for another time. But, getting back onto track, as to what I really had wanted to say. Who in a hundred years, 10, 50.. what have you, is going to read an entire blog.... there is something, about physically haveing something... being able to page through it, that is lost here. With these types of services, often after a certain amount of inactivity, data is deleted. I mean, can you imagine, if a great thinker such as Da Vinci, who was only really well reconized after his passing, had everything destoryed only because he hadn't made an entry in the past 90 days ? It's quite frighting when you think about it actually. History books often put letter of courspondance in them, showing, the personal letters of this and that nature. When you die, will your emails be released for your loved ones to read over? Probably not. It's all very interesting to me.. this whole digital age... we live with so much information now. Where will it all be tomorrow ?

Things that I have been wanting to post about.

1. JLS... not sure it is something, i can really do well right now, as I'm slightly confused with the whole situation at the moment. And... it's such a long and invovled story, that... i wouldn't want to incorporate it, into this long post, only because, it would then be a "mega" post, and i'm just not quite sure, that a blog is the proper fourm for a novel like treatment of a subject.

2. All you need is love. hm.... What is love, does it really exsist.. can true love, really be true? I often wrestle w/ the idea's of love. But more so, now, than ever before. I would like to just get it all out there, what i feel about it... all my mixed up feelings... of what it is.. .what it could be... or what it should be. I believe myself to be somewhat of a hopeless romantic.... or some might say... just a romantic. At any rate..... i'm not sure, if being such, qaulifies me for such discussions. I somehow believe, that a romantic, should/would have the sound idea of love, while at the same time... i can see.. how a romantic.. would always be struggling with ideas of true love... of soul mates.... of.. finding the one right person. No doubt, I have plenty of wants when it comes to matter of the heart and love. But... as with many things, heart and brain continue on their epic battle, for.. logic and reason vs. love, emotion, but more important... the passion associated with those thoughts.

3. The crazy weekend I had in the Armpitt of America, AKA NJ.

4. Friends, more importantly... good ones... the kind, where you haven't talked in a long time and when you do get the oppurtunity to hang out, it's like just picking up, from where ya left off.... My BITCH haha... Ashley Rittle, who I'm her BITCH... and Maria, and... Katie Stomm(spelling?) had an awesome time at Applebee's and then going to watch, meet the Fockers, which by the way, i highly recommend. Ashely and I have been close for a long time, but it was just amazing to be able to hang out and have a blast just like back in High School, with out having to do all the weird... so.. what have you been up to... and blah blah.

5. hm... not sure, if it something I can really even write about... perhaps... this one will, for now, have to stay personal... ~j she with bad eyesight.... will understand.

Talking about Meet the Fockers, just reminded me of something... out of all the Xanga blogs i've purused, i haven't seen any that utilize the Review or Event section. I, myself, am not entirely sure how to do so either, but... I might be intersting, for me to review movies recently seen, or music I happen to like. It would be nice, to be able to mention here in my blog, and then have the review in the, review section. The event thing.... hm.... not so sure how that part of xanga might be better utiltized. I guess from a blogring perspective it might be useful to like sedule a talk, or maybe... just post, One This Day, type stuff. Who knows..... writing entries such as this is one thing... it's another to have, your schudle posted out on the web :P haha Such, is life now i suppose.

well... it is appartent that i'm not going to get to anything that i actually, had wanted to post in this entry... but.... as they say... "we'll always have paris"

I cant take any more good news...

So, I was told that I need to update my blog, or atleast put a new entry up. Which, I am now doing, however, I don't believe this entry is exactly what Bethany had in mind. Perhaps, soon, I'll have the time, or the clearness of thought to be able to put a post together for the past weekend festivities. But we shall see.

Today, I got into work a bit later than I normally do, was having some landlord issues. But I walk into work today, and some one tells me, George Hoops died at work this morning. WOW. My father, up until he moved out to Akron has Sat beside George for as long as he has been with FirstEnergy/GPU. I was talking to him just yesterday before he left. It is believed that he had a massive heart attack. It's all just too much for me to handle right now. He an my father were very close, and when I talked to my father, he wasn't doing so well. He said, George has just been to the doctor a few weeks earlier, the full physical, came out clean. He leaves behind a young wife, and a 7 year old son. I can even imagine tryhing to tell your son, your dad isn't coming back. What makes it harder yet, is that they had just started to go to scouts together, and going to baseball games together, and things most father's and son's do together. Please, let your prayers be with Lisa and Preston over this Holiday season.

Death, like taxes, some say, will always come. I've never really had to deal with death before. In the mid 80's my step grandfather who I had never meet died, so, there was really no effect there. In the early 90's Derick Miller and his father(whos name i can't remember right now) were killed when a truck hit them head on. They were very active in our scouting troop, but, I wasn't really close to Derick, and for some reason wasn't really effected by the whole thing. Agian, though, Derick's father, and my father were very close. When he found out, and at the funeral, it was the first time I ever remember seeing my father cry, about anything. In the mid 90's my grandfather died, and due to that death, I was able to meet all of the Greek side of my family for the first time. They, to this day, are a large part of my life, and keep me sane. Again, I had never meet my grandfather, so there was no effect there. When I was in 10th grade, there was a brother and sister driving to school, and hit a truck head on, both died, they were the only kids of the family. I didn't know either one, but knew of them. So, once, again, I was spared having to really deal with death. In 2003, while I was an RA at U of Pitt, one of my residents slipped under a Transit Bus and was killed, he was a very shy person, and I didn't know him well, but well enough to say hi, and have small talk with him and his roommates. That was the first time I really had to deal with death, but, there the entire floor, the entire building was there to share that grief. It was nice for everyone, to have everyone else around, right at that time, and just to talk about it, and to count your blessings. I was very concerned about the parents commings and moving out all of his stuff. I think, having to deal with that, was harder than having to deal with his death.

So, besides that inicdent at Pitt, this is the first time, I have had to deal with Death face to face. I think what makes it harder, is that I saw George at work everyday, I talked to him, everyday, I knew his wife, I knew his son, he was extremly good friends with my father. And now on top of all this, a very nice couple that works in the same area that I do, John and Gale, I also came to find out, that the day before, John's brother passed away. Also, Gale's mother hasn't been doing well, and for the past 2 months, she and her brother have been taking care of her, she isn't excpeted to make it much longer. I just can't deal w/ all this death any more. John and Gale are such nice people, they have really helped me in all my times of need, and I wish there was something i could do for the both of them. And Lisa and Preston... I mean... what do you say... what can you do? I mean... in an instant, all your life dreams and ambitions change when a spouse dies... I just can't even begin to imagine.

And on if all this weren't enough, my aunt was found to have Breast Cancer.
All of this, also, now comes, at just a very odd time in the year. As, if it weren't going to be an odd enough holiday season already, it has been snowing all week in Ohio. And, now, my Mom is telling me that they are expecting up to a foot and half of snow tomorrow, and that she is concerned that I shouldn't try to drive in the shitty weather. I also want to pay my respects to George, which... i would assume be Sunday, I can't imagine Lisa would want to have it on xmas, and i'm not sure, everything would be ready by friday. Reguardless, the logistics of everything in this next few days, is going to cause me to have a nervous break down. With everything else that has gone on this year, I NEED to be w/ my mom and sister over xmas. I can't allow this to be the first xmas I dont' spend w/ some sort of family. Not only would that reck me, but I know it would wreck my mom.

Speaking of which.... I love my Mom... can i just say that? Out of everything that has happened this year, when i called her to tell her George had passway, all she could do was think about my Father, and how hurt he must be... she is a Saint.

A week or so ago, my mom asked me what I wanted for xmas. I really dont' want or need anything. I seriously, just wanted to spend time w/ her and my sister, and maybe her side of the family. In the true spirt of xmas, I just wanted to be with family. And all of you that are able to do so, you are bleased, don't take it for granted.

Some might say, that, there are plenty of other people that are having much worse times than myself. And, i'm sure that is true, and I do my best, to give what strength i have left, to pray for those who are also in less than happy situtations. May everyone who needs it, get the strength they need, be it physicaly or spiritualy.

Charmin ultra, awesome.

So, this is the first post. While I have put this public blog off for far too long, it makes me slightly sad, that this is my first post. And, that is going to be about such a stupid thing . But, such is life. First of all I have to give a shout out to Em of Forp she is a true blogger, and just a really kewl girl. I'll always remember the cous-cous days. haha.

I've never been a big fan of tissues, I mean... when i lived in my house and what not... my mom bought them, and at times when i went back to school, she would send them along, and the such, most of you know the mom drill. Anyhow, i've just never been a big fan, all too often they are too thin, and when I use them to blow my nose, frankly, it just gets all sorts of messy. So, for as long as i can remember now, i've almost exclusively used paper towels. All sorts, Bounty, All, you name it... whatever was there i used. And, for a time, that was fine, because I often blow my nose, even when I'm not sick. However, i've been fairly sick, and have been blowing my nose for quite sometime, and the paper towels, they just been doing quite the number on my nose. So, I just happened to be sitting on the Kermode the other day, and I had to blow my nose, so naturaly, I wasn't going to walk, all the way to the other end of the house, to the kitchen to get a paper towel to blow my nose. No, i used the toliet paper right there beside me. OMG, Charmin Ultra, oh how i love you, this stuff is awesome, so great on the nose, softer than any tissue i've ever used, and as long as I double it up a bit, just as strong as a paper towel, so there's no mess.

So, that is all for now, I have yet decieded how i'm going to bring this blog up to speed w/ everything going on. But.. I have plenty of time, to the only other 2 people i know that have xanga accounts Bethany and Lina , there are your shout outs, hopefully.. i'll have sometimes, or perhaps xanga already has this feature, where I can list known xanga buddies on the left side or something. At anyrate.. lot of stuff to I need to get off my chest, about love, life, and the struggles of both